If You’ve Got Em
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Terms and conditions

Terms & Conditions

Last updated: Sept. 28, 2025

By purchasing art from If You’ve Got Em, you agree to the following terms and conditions.

1. The Nature of This Shop

This shop is run by one very bad amateur artist who is doing this for fun and a little cash. The artwork is provided strictly “AS IS”—meaning:

  • You acknowledge and accept the lack of artistic quality.
  • Deliberate imperfections are part of the “charm.”
  • Nothing here is represented as fine art, investment-grade art, or professionally executed art.

If you were hoping to fund your retirement or impress a snooty art collector, you may want to look elsewhere.

2. No Endorsement of Smoking

If You’ve Got Em does not endorse smoking or the use of any tobacco products. Smoking is bad for you. Don’t smoke. Really. Put it down.

3. Age Restrictions

While art is for everyone, this shop is not. I will not sell paintings to anyone under 18 years of age.

4. All Sales Are Final

Once your painting is in the mail, that’s it. No refunds, no exchanges, no take-backs.

Returns Based on Quality or Aesthetics

Disliking the painting (or its “bad” quality) is not a valid reason for return, as the low quality is advertised. No joke, I really do sort of suck at painting. But I love doing it, so...

Exceptions for Damage

In the rare event that your painting arrives damaged, email me at [email protected] within 7 days, including clear photos of the damage and packaging. I’ll do my best to make it right. That said, I take no responsibility for damage that occurs during shipping.

Cancellation

You can cancel your order, but only before it has shipped. Once it’s out of my hands, it’s your very own piece of low-grade art.

5. Shipping and Delivery

Shipping Costs & Methods:

Shipping options, costs, and delivery times will be listed at checkout.

Risk of Loss:

Ownership and risk of loss transfer to you once the painting is handed over to the shipping carrier.

International Shipping:

Currently, I don't ship internationally, but if/when I get my act together and decide to do so, you (the buyer) are responsible for all customs duties, import taxes, and brokerage fees.

6. Intellectual Property

While these paintings are bad, I really do enjoy making them and because cigarettes are one of the only things I can draw and paint, it's important to me to protect my intellectual property. As such, I retain all copyrights related to these paintings.

Copyright:

Even after you buy a painting, I (the terrible artist) retain the copyright to the artwork.

Ownership:

You own the physical painting only.

Retained Rights:

I may use images of the painting for my portfolio, website, social media, or other projects.

Buyer’s Usage:

You may not reproduce the artwork for commercial purposes (e.g., slapping it on T-shirts, mugs, or NFTs) without my written permission.

7. Dispute Resolution

I really hope there are no problems with our transaction(s), but if there are, let's figure it out together.

Contact First:

If you have an issue, email me at [email protected] before considering anything drastic.

Dispute Mechanism:

If we cannot resolve a dispute informally, any disputes shall be handled in the small claims court of Maryland.

8. Variations & Limitations:

Again, I can't stress enough how amateur I am at this, so...

  • Colors, size, and details may vary slightly due to the handmade nature of the work and the quirks of monitor displays.

  • My maximum liability for any item purchased is limited to the original purchase price.

  • I make no promises or warranties regarding the future resale value, collectibility, or appreciation of these paintings. If anything, expect the opposite.

9. Shop Hours, Stock, and Commissions

  • I'll release these in batches as they come. When I'm out, I'm out.

  • I don't have the bandwidth to take commissions.

10. Authenticity

  • I certify that each piece is an original gouache painting, not a reproduction of any kind.

  • Each piece is signed in the lower righthand corner with my initials and the year it was painted. Further, each is numbered on the reverse and notes the month it was painted.

Tobacco Cessation Resources:

In spite of being the Students Against Substance Abuse club's co-president in high school (no joke), I began smoking as a teenager, and it took me years to quit. It was awful. Because I really mean it when I say don’t smoke, here are some resources that might be helpful if you're trying to get that monkey off your back:

  • Truth Initiative – Programs and text support for young people quitting tobacco

Your lungs and wallet will thank you.

_

Thanks for reading, and thank you even more for supporting my dumb, weird, bad, very amateur art.

— One Bad Amateur Artist